• Chandler

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Updated: Nov 27, 2019

I'm not like other girls.

But only because I am not seen as one anymore.


When I was a little girl,

My favorite princess was Ariel.

I had a princess themed bedroom

And a pink baby doll I affectionately named...

Pinkbaby.


I loved painting my nails

And wearing makeup

Styling my hair

And getting dressed up


I loved playing with Barbie dolls

and Polly Pockets

Pixel Chix and Littlest Pet Shops


I don't regret becoming myself

But in becoming myself,

I feel I have lost a part of myself


There was a man in a support group

who once said to a friend,

I feel I have lost a solidarity with cis women

That I never gained with cis men.


Because women no longer see me

As one of them

And men don't share a past with me.


I never learned how to be a man

How to talk with the radiance

and confidence

Shone from a thousand suns


I was never told that

my thoughts mattered

Or that there existed space

that belonged to me


My community grows smaller and smaller

As I lose my ability to relate

No one sees me for who I truly am

And my past often goes ignored


But most people think

I'm a man now, right?

Wasn't that supposed to be fine?

But I'm not a man

And never will be

Complete nonbinary design


I feel unseen

Hidden and fake

Assimilated in disguise


I feel glossed over

I feel infinitely small


Because a privilege rooted

in the erasure of identity

is not truly a privilege at all.


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